This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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