Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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