It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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