why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
