nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
