Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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