honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
