my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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