He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
