i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
there is puke in my bra ... again
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
