so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?