Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
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All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
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All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.