I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
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Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
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He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch