Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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