you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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