Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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