Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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