I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
