even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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