She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
