JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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