i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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