I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
