i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
