We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
