i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
