Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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