We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
organizing the empties. That sober.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
