I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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