I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize