omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
