why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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