how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
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So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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