I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
