I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
