some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
