So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it glows. i had to have it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
