i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
