why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
