Can Purell be used as lube?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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