so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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