It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
