playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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