We won't sleep together?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
