That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
