hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
