her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You need Xanax blowdarts
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
