Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
