my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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