ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can text with my tongue
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
