I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
