The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
