Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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