I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
