Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
