This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
