Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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