doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
