got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
