accomplished twins. life is a go
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
